There was a strange correlation between the length of time Sheppard spent in a room and the decrease in productivity of anyone else in said room. Except for Rodney, of course. After all, he was a genius - he didn't need Sheppard standing in front of him in order to know what he looked like.
No, Rodney *may*, occasionally, find his immediate productivity suffering a sharp decline when Sheppard first entered a room, but he was able to overcome that and get back to a steady productivity fairly quickly.
It was the productivity of everyone else he was worried about. It wasn't like they were sitting in some fancy office with all the time in the world to complete their work. On the contrary, very often their very lives depended on the speed at which they were able to work. Which meant that anything - including Sheppard - that hindered productivity needed to be addressed.
"It's a serious problem," Rodney insisted, folding his arms over his chest when Weir didn't seem to take him entirely seriously. "As soon as Sheppard enters the room, the productivity of everyone else takes a 80% drop. Instantly. Which lasts from 5-15minutes. After which, they manage to get their productivity back up to 50%, but that's all. 50%!! Just half of what they do when he's not there! And it doesn't matter how long he stays, productivity remains at 50%!"
Weir frowned. "I'm not sure we can safely say the Major is the cause of -"
"Of course he's the cause!" Rodney snapped. "Hello? Genius here! I know what I'm talking about!"
Weir sighed. "And just what, exactly, do you expect me to do?" she asked. "I can hardly ask the Major to stop walking around the City - he actually needs to do so in order to do his job. Besides, aren't you the one who asked for him to spend *more* time activating Ancient Technology for you?"
Rodney barely refrained from rolling his eyes. "Yes, yes," he waved one hand impatiently. "I hardly need clarify that my own productivity is not affected the same way." Weir raised an eyebrow at him, but he ignored it. "And while we may not be able to stop him from walking around the City, we can try and limit the amount of time he spends in any one place. That way - any drops in productivity will be minor and much more manageable."
In the end, Rodney had his way (he was certain it was due to his absolute genius, rather than any impatience Weir may have had for getting him out of her office).
*
"Major Sheppard," Miko said, smiling brightly as she glanced up to see Sheppard leaning in the doorway to the lab.
"Hey Miko," he replied, lips quirking up into a grin.
Frowning, Rodney clicked his already-prepared shortcut on his laptop in order to start the timer. He glanced at Sheppard out of the corner of his eye. That particular lean was known to decrease productivity by a further 15%. Perhaps he should adjust the time limit he'd set accordingly...
*
Following Sheppard down the corridor, Rodney frowned when he realized they were headed towards the Control Room. Didn't Sheppard realize that the Control Room was one of the last places they needed his distractions? Those people were doing important things - like ensuring the 'gate was Shielded!
He discretely pressed a button on his tablet.
"I was talking to Chuck," Sheppard explained, loping easily up the stairs, "and -"
"Major Sheppard to the armory," came over the comms.
Sheppard frowned. Rodney hid a smirk.
*
Letting his eyes wander over the lines of code before him, Rodney absently noticed a new notification pop up in the bottom-right corner of his screen. He glanced at it.
Sheppard had been in the neighboring labs for more than his allotted 5 minutes.
Rolling his eyes - really, would the Major never learn? - Rodney tapped his earpiece.
"Sheppard," he said, "when you've finished flirting with the scientists, I have need of your gene."
"Awww McKay," Sheppard drawled back almost immediately, "and here I thought you were starting to like me."
Rodney snorted. "Just get over here," he said. He waited until he could hear Sheppard moving before he disconnected his comms.
He may take a fair bit of work - but Rodney was happy to make the sacrifice if it meant he could keep everyone else performing at optimum efficiency. After all, they never knew just when it was next going to save their lives.
oh my god I'm laughing so hard. I'm so glad John's plan worked! :) Meanwhile, Weir's thinking: "Rodney, you would have to have 0% productivity to be tracking Sheppard that closely to begin with. But at least my productivity will increase with you out of my office." I'm die. Thank you for this gem.
And Rodney's counter-argument is that he's always paying attention to Sheppard anyway, and he still manages to be productive! So of course he can track Sheppard while also doing his usual work. He's a genius. So there. (It's a very mature argument).
Of course the lean adds to the problem! I figured that if I get distracted by the lean when it's only on my little tv screen, then the effect in person must be even greater!
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momijizukamori
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No, Rodney *may*, occasionally, find his immediate productivity suffering a sharp decline when Sheppard first entered a room, but he was able to overcome that and get back to a steady productivity fairly quickly.
It was the productivity of everyone else he was worried about. It wasn't like they were sitting in some fancy office with all the time in the world to complete their work. On the contrary, very often their very lives depended on the speed at which they were able to work. Which meant that anything - including Sheppard - that hindered productivity needed to be addressed.
"It's a serious problem," Rodney insisted, folding his arms over his chest when Weir didn't seem to take him entirely seriously. "As soon as Sheppard enters the room, the productivity of everyone else takes a 80% drop. Instantly. Which lasts from 5-15minutes. After which, they manage to get their productivity back up to 50%, but that's all. 50%!! Just half of what they do when he's not there! And it doesn't matter how long he stays, productivity remains at 50%!"
Weir frowned. "I'm not sure we can safely say the Major is the cause of -"
"Of course he's the cause!" Rodney snapped. "Hello? Genius here! I know what I'm talking about!"
Weir sighed. "And just what, exactly, do you expect me to do?" she asked. "I can hardly ask the Major to stop walking around the City - he actually needs to do so in order to do his job. Besides, aren't you the one who asked for him to spend *more* time activating Ancient Technology for you?"
Rodney barely refrained from rolling his eyes. "Yes, yes," he waved one hand impatiently. "I hardly need clarify that my own productivity is not affected the same way." Weir raised an eyebrow at him, but he ignored it. "And while we may not be able to stop him from walking around the City, we can try and limit the amount of time he spends in any one place. That way - any drops in productivity will be minor and much more manageable."
In the end, Rodney had his way (he was certain it was due to his absolute genius, rather than any impatience Weir may have had for getting him out of her office).
*
"Major Sheppard," Miko said, smiling brightly as she glanced up to see Sheppard leaning in the doorway to the lab.
"Hey Miko," he replied, lips quirking up into a grin.
Frowning, Rodney clicked his already-prepared shortcut on his laptop in order to start the timer. He glanced at Sheppard out of the corner of his eye. That particular lean was known to decrease productivity by a further 15%. Perhaps he should adjust the time limit he'd set accordingly...
*
Following Sheppard down the corridor, Rodney frowned when he realized they were headed towards the Control Room. Didn't Sheppard realize that the Control Room was one of the last places they needed his distractions? Those people were doing important things - like ensuring the 'gate was Shielded!
He discretely pressed a button on his tablet.
"I was talking to Chuck," Sheppard explained, loping easily up the stairs, "and -"
"Major Sheppard to the armory," came over the comms.
Sheppard frowned. Rodney hid a smirk.
*
Letting his eyes wander over the lines of code before him, Rodney absently noticed a new notification pop up in the bottom-right corner of his screen. He glanced at it.
Sheppard had been in the neighboring labs for more than his allotted 5 minutes.
Rolling his eyes - really, would the Major never learn? - Rodney tapped his earpiece.
"Sheppard," he said, "when you've finished flirting with the scientists, I have need of your gene."
"Awww McKay," Sheppard drawled back almost immediately, "and here I thought you were starting to like me."
Rodney snorted. "Just get over here," he said. He waited until he could hear Sheppard moving before he disconnected his comms.
He may take a fair bit of work - but Rodney was happy to make the sacrifice if it meant he could keep everyone else performing at optimum efficiency. After all, they never knew just when it was next going to save their lives.
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And Rodney's counter-argument is that he's always paying attention to Sheppard anyway, and he still manages to be productive! So of course he can track Sheppard while also doing his usual work. He's a genius. So there. (It's a very mature argument).
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